The Glorious Impregnator of the Matriarchal President

by languageformulatingbrain

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I looked at Crystalbrain's silhouette on my wall for a moment, then asked him if he would come into my body.

"What are we doing this time?" Crystalbrain asked.

"We're making an image in GIMP," I said, referring to the GNU Image Manipulation Program, an image editor.

"Ahh, the Glorious Impregnator of the Matriarchal President," he said.

"The...what?" I asked.

Crystalbrain explained, "There's a sphere, several spheres away that I went to. Anyways, the thing about it is that it was started by a nun who escaped from the clutches of the Catholic Church. She ended up creating her own reality outside of the Catholic Church's reach, on a sphere they had no influence on. Anyways, this was before I destroyed Heaven and Hell, but the thing is that she had this whole Earth and she was completely in charge of it."

"Yes?" I replied.

"Anyways, yes, she was in charge of it, and she decided that she should be elected President instead of just being the Mother of the sphere. So she had all of the beings on the sphere decide whether she or someone else should be in charge. Anyways, since she was basically a goddess, and the only goddess on the sphere, she was elected in a landslide victory."

"And the 'Glorious Impregnator' part?" I asked.

"Ahh yes, anyways one of the guys who did a small amount of development on GIMP likes to go to the sphere where the Matriarchal President is, and she liked him and named him her Glorious Impregnator, meaning that he would be the father of her child."

"That's very interesting," I said, "Did they have any children?"

"Yes, a daughter named Thalia and a son named Cynge," said Crystalbrain.

"OK, I need your inspiration," I said.

Crystalbrain went into my mind and I sat there for a minute. He said in my mind, "What we are going to do now is make a serious statement."

"A serious statement?" I asked.

"Yes, a serious statement about HIV," he said.

"Oh no, I don't like this," I said.

"First, I need you to go to Wikipedia's page for a T-Cell," Crystalbrain said.

"A T-Cell? OK." I opened TOR Browser and browsed to the Wikipedia page.

"OK, now the T-Cell is public domain," he said to me.

"All right, public domain, so no problems," I said. I clicked and saved the image.


"What now?" I asked.

"I need a specific crucifix. Go to Wikimedia Commons, search for crucifix, and make sure you select 'Public Domain' for license."

I browsed through crucfixes until I had a specific cross.

He walked me through a long series of steps in which I took the T-Cell, applied an effect to it, took the crucifix and inverted it, then put an inverted pentagram over the crucifix, and wrote "aids 666" at the feet of Christ that were in the air, then placed a picture of George W. Bush on the chest of Christ and tinted the whole thing a dangerous-looking shade of red.

"OK. So, this is really disturbing," I said.

"Immensely so. And provocative," Crystalbrain said.

"Who am I going to provoke with this image?" I asked.

"Oh, you shouldn't ask questions like that, because I'm not going to answer that question right now," he said.

"OK, then get the hell out of my brain," I said.

"No," he replied.

"Are we going to go through this shit again, where I have to wait for you to get bored for me to have some peace and quiet?" I asked.

"OK, OK. I'll leave," said Crystalbrain, then left my brain, spiraling off into the ceiling.

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