A Stroll Through the Neighborhood

by languageformulatingbrain

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I decided to get away from my computer while I still felt good about things. While I was a shameless Internet addict, when something made me feel happy I had a way of getting away from my computer. I imagined Crystalbrain looking over my shoulder, crack pipe in hand, eager for me to step outside into the night and take a walk among the porchlights of the streets around me.

I knew Crystalbrain wouldn't want me to go near the police station, so I walked in the opposite direction, away from it. I had nothing to hide, but this creature of my mind, this phantasm I had created seemed to live with its own desires. I walked outside and saw an interdimensional silhouhette of Crystalbrain taking a quick hit of crack as I stepped outside onto my porch.

"It's pretty cool here; before Heaven was zapped into non-existence I took tons of crack with me and hid it in Mt. Rushmore," he said.

I nodded and walked on. Crystalbrain kept talking.

"Then I got the ability to teleport; it lets me get to the stash in Mt. Rushmore and back real fast, and recently I've been terrorizing the Crown Prince of Saudi by gettin' behind him when he's not expectin' it and grabbing his ass, then I disappear real quick."

I didn't know if any of this was true; it certainly wasn't true for whatever cyberpunk video game or whatever I had been born into. Crystalbrain was speaking to me from his place in this singularity or whatever it was we called home, and none of the stuff that he did actually happened in my reality, but he often had interesting stories.

I saw the dandelion that I had spit a nail at earlier, and I hawked up a big wad of phlegm and tried to spit it out and hit the flower head on. It missed and landed on a nearby leaf. I crushed the leaf with my shoe without breaking pace.

Crystalbrain said, "You know, if I spit one out, it'd hit that flower, because where I'm from, I never miss. I can do anything."

"Isn't that a bit boring?" I asked.

Crystalbrain nodded, "Yeah, it's completely boring. I can do anything, can break any rule I want to. It's no fun at all. Yes, boring. It's why I come to your world."

"You came to my world because I wrote you into my life," I said.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Crystalbrain said, then continued, "Maybe I just had you write me into your life, didja thinka that?"

"Yes, I definitely thought of that. I think that's called inspiration or something when Christians have it, when they have an idea to create something and it comes directly from God or something," I said.

I walked across the street and spied Christmas lights in apartment building windows, with the glare of a television causing other colors to play with my view of the room. The building was a drab yellow brick and very utilitarian in design, seemingly built with the purpose it served in mind and nothing more. This seemed to contrast with the apparition of Crystalbrain I saw, which was full of life and energy, bursting with personality and desire.

I continued talking to Crystalbrain and didn't see a man sitting on some steps and smoking a cigarette. The smell of cannabis smoke mingled with his cigarette smoke and he looked at me funny, as if he thought I was talking to him, then he seemed to think I was talking to myself. He could not see Crystalbrain.

I walked further down the sidewalk, crossing a couple of streets, then turned and walked to the right. The sounds of cars drifted through the air like a harsh ambience which I was long used to. I kicked a pebble with my foot, but it hit at the wrong angle and went flying into the door of a gray sedan.

I looked around to see if there was anyone around who could have seen it, then not seeing anyone, increased my rate of walking. The car pulled away from the curb and as it sped away the window rolled down and a guy yelled "What the fuck? Asshole!" Apparently there was someone in the driver's seat and had been aware of everything that had just transpired.

As he sped off and then turned to the right down the street, I decided to take a left and go away from him; the last thing I needed was to be messed with by someone I'd provoked with a chip on their shoulder. I took a long route and walked home.

Crystalbrain commented, "Haha, you kicked a rock into his car. You're dumb."

"Blow me," I replied.

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